*NOTE* the bitch is back, Fowley shows up and this story
does NOT have a
happy shipper
ending!!!! (So for any shipper in a bad mood, like me, maybe you
should read this
later.)
Disclaimer: OK, OK, there not mine (I said it, happy?!). I was just taking
them out for a
test drive and I’ll
return them safely and in one piece (if I must). The X-Files, Fox Mulder, Dana Scully, and anything else
X-File-ish is the brain child of Chris Carter, 1013
Production and Twentieth Century Fox. Yada, yada, yada. On with the story!
Feedback: PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!
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You’re all I need - and maybe some faith would do me good
I don’t know what I’m doing, don’t know should I change
my mind, I can’t decide, there’s too many variations to consider
nothing I do don’t do no thing but bring me more to do,
it’s true I do imbue my blue unto myself, I make it bitter
baby, lay your head on my lap one more time
tell me you belong to me
baby say that it’s all gonna be all right
I believe that it isn’t.
-Lyrics to “on the bound” by Fiona Apple-
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Maybe Some Faith Would Do Me Good
By: Twink
Scully had faced death
before, more times than she cared to remember. However, this time seemed
different and she shuttered thinking back to it in spite of the warmth of the
car.
“Cold?” Mulder asked in a tone that showed no emotion.
“No, Mulder, I’m fine.” She answered quietly.
“Are you sure?” he asked.
“Yes.” she replied firmly, however inside her felt anything but
secure.
< What?!! How could he ask me that? ‘Are you sure?’ Oh, now
he’s got to question whether I’m telling him the truth?! I don’t believe how
much of a jerk he can be. OK, Dana calm down he was only trying to be nice. Or
was he? > She let out a small sigh and thought. < I’ve got to stop this
I’m fighting more with myself these days than with him. >
They drove in silence
for the next twenty minutes the whole while the horrible scene replayed itself
in her mind. It seemed that the longer they traveled the slower the reenactment
played in her head.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx~
She could feel the
cold gun pressing sharply against her temple. Fear raced through her entire
body like a flood of water. She felt his icy stare as a thousand thoughts ran
through her mind, thoughts of things she had forgotten and things she might
never do. Within a tenth of a second, her life flashed before her.
Then the clicking sound of a gun
Her eyes shut tight
The pressure of the gun to her head lessened
Her eyes opened
He turned,
His eyes wide in fear,
To see Mulder pull the trigger.
The bullet buried itself deep into his head as Mulder fired again
hitting the man with precise aim in the chest. What scared Scully now was the
extreme hatred and revenge blaring in Murder’s eyes. When he realized she was
starring at him his expression turned to concern. Her eyes moved to the
lifeless man at her feet, he had been prepared to kill her as he had done to
nearly a dozen other female members of law enforcement. Mulder had been asked
to help on a violent crimes case in a profiling capacity, he had described the
man as a modern day Jack the Ripper with a vendetta against women who held jobs
in law enforcement. For this reason he asked that Scully not be involved but as
fate would have it tonight as she walked into the FBI parking garage the Ripper
was waiting for her. Scully heard the other agents arrive and call for back up.
One of the other agents came up to her to see if she was all right, Mulder put
his arms protectively around her and led her away helping her into his car. He
knew she was in no condition to drive herself home.
~Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
This had been the
first time they had spoken since it happened.
< The only reason that I’m so upset is that I’d die for him
and I know he’d do the same. I also know my life would be nothing if I lost him
but I can’t even bring myself to tell him I love him. But I don’t even know if
he feels the same way. Hell, I don’t know if I feel that way! He would have
told me by now if he did, wouldn’t he, > She thought looking at him through
the corner of her eye. < He couldn’t, or could he? Oh God there’s no use
arguing with myself any more. >
He pulled up to her building and stopped the car. “Do you want me
to walk you in?” He asked.
“No, Mulder.” She was in no mood to deal with Mulder any more
tonight.
“OK then I’ll be back in the morning to pick you up.”
“Bye.” She sighed as she got out of the car. He watched her until
she disappeared into the building. Now with Scully out of the car Mulder
allowed himself to think about what had happened.
< Everything is all my fault. You’ve got a real great talent
of screwing up every life you fucken touch, you know that, Fox. >
“How much of an asshole can one man be?!” He shouted to himself.
< Really! If I hadn’t been so damn adamant about my cause,
they would have never stuck her down in the basement with me to begin with.
Taking away her chances to succeed, leaving her here, to fall for me and me for
her, > He paused thinking more slowly. < Making me hurt her. God I love
her and look what I’ve done, I’ve ruined her life. My poor Scully, my faithful
puppy. Content with a treat and a pat on the head ready to follow me to the end
of the earth. What have I done to her? If only I’d been able to scare her off
in the begging, if only I hadn’t wanted her to stay. But what can I do now?
What have I done to both of our lives? I could be one of the top profilers at
the Bureau. And Scully! Scully would undoubtedly be the head of forensic or
something like that by now instead of chasing after me on my little quests.
>
“But look at us now!” He shouted sarcastically
< It’s because of me that she was there, and there have been
so many other times. If I hadn’t been there... > He let his thoughts trail
off, he couldn’t bring himself to think about it any more.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
~X 20 minutes later in the hall in front of Murder’s door
X~
After fumbling for his
key he realized that the door had been unlocked. He pulled out his gun, holding
it low at his right side and slowly entered his apartment. Mulder lifted the
light switch several time before realizing that it wasn’t going to turn on.
< Two for two, > he thought, < can’t be good. > As he cautiously
entered the living room, he moved his gun up from his side ready to fire at the
figure that sat on his couch.
“Put the gun away, Fox.” Came a voice from the darkness, Mulder
did as he was told. “It’s time Fox.”
“No! I need more time to get things in order.” He said coldly
still standing his ground near the entrance to his living room.
“We need to do this soon before time runs out.” The voice was
calm and clear despite Murder’s aggression.
“I know.” he said angrily.
“I’m giving you what you wanted, am I not?” The voice asked.
“Yes but what about Scully?” Mulder asked calmly.
“What about her? Look forget about Scully for now.” The voice
replied angrily.
“I can’t do that.” The anger in Mulders voice was very apparent
now.
“Forget about her if you want to save her and everyone else. Or
do you want it to be on your head if the very thing that’s keeping her alive
turns around and hurts her?” The voice answered with anger matching Mulders.
“If I hurt Scully I’d kill myself.” He said bitterly to himself.
“Then it’s settled. You have one more week Fox, we can’t w…”
“I know!” he cut in.
“Good” said the voice as the figure got up and headed for the
door. Mulder didn’t move until he was alone in the room. He closed the door and
walked into the living room to sat in his chair.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Mulder awoke to the sound of the ringing phone; he looked over at
the clock which read 12:52.
“Mulder.” He answered in a tired voice but he became annoyed
after no one responded. “Hello.” He was a little pissed off, the last thing he
needed after a long day was some stupid punk kid prank calling him. Mulder was
about to hang up when a voice broke the silence.
“Mulder it’s me.”
“Scully?!” Mulder was shocked, the voice on the phone sound
scared and weak, not like the voice of his Scully. “Are you all right?”
“Could you come over here?” She asked trying to hid the shakiness
in her voice.
“I’ll be right there Scully, stay where you are.” He hung up the
phone but lingered in the chair for a moment to think.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
When Mulder reached
her door, she opened it before he could knock.
“Scully are you OK? What happened? What’s the matter?”
“I…” She started to say but stopped when she realized they were
still standing in the doorway. “Come in, Mulder.” He walked past her and she
pushed the door closed. Scully walked in three steps behind him and took a seat
on the couch.
Mulder was worried. Why had she called him, why did
she need him to come over and why was she so apprehensive about telling him now
that he was there? So there he stood waiting for an explanation.
“Mulder, you saved my life tonight and I didn’t thank you.” She
started.
“Scully,” Mulder was relieved it was nothing more serious than a
little guilt. “It’s OK.” He told her as he took a seat next to her on the
couch.
“Mulder let me finish. What I wanted to say was that I didn’t say
thank you because I was afraid of what I might say. Mulder…” For what seemed
liked the first time in her life she was at a loss for words there had been
times when she didn’t know how to articulate her thoughts but now she couldn’t
find any thoughts, her mind had gone blank.
“Say what?” He asked. Mulder now wore his concern face; his lips
slightly pouted his eyes starring deep into her as if he could read her
thoughts. His brow lowered as though he were trying to put the pieces together.
She had averted his eyes up until now but she looked at him and
said, “I love you”
Mulder was astonished that this was what she needed to tell him
but he tried not to show it. Several thoughts began to run through his head.
“How long have you felt this way?”
“I don’t know, Mulder, maybe since the beginning from when I
first met you. I’ve always felt something, but I was unable to place it until
recently.”
Mulder was taken aback and his expression clearly showed it. “Why
didn’t you mention anything earlier?”
She thought for a moment then tilted her chin to the side at him
and said. “Well… why didn’t you?” She asked, again, he was shocked.
“Was it that obvious?” He looked at her sheepishly.
She gave him a look that said ‘Well…’.
His expression changed, almost sad like, as he said. “I love you
too Scully.” This was all she needed to hear as she leaned in to kiss him but
he pulled away. She looked up at him in confusion.
<What’s wrong? What did I do? I thought you wanted this as
much as I did. >
“This can’t...” He paused in order to choose his words carefully
he didn’t want to hurt her but what he had to say couldn’t be avoided. “This
can’t work, it’s all my fault. The closer I get to you the more I hurt you and
I couldn’t handle losing you especially if it were my fault.”
He could see the pain in her eyes the pain he had caused. <
It’s better this way. > He thought < For both of us. >
Scully looked up at him she didn’t know weather she wanted to hit
him or yell at him to leave, instead she let her emotions speak for themselves.
“I’m sorry.” The shock was too much to handle and she began to cry.
“No, I’m so sorry.” He said as he leaned in and hugged her. It
soon became clear that neither of them knew what to say to end this so Scully
let herself cry and Mulder let her soak his shirt with her tears.
When Scully had calmed
down Mulder told her, he would see her in the morning. He showed himself out
but she did not attempt to move until she was sure he was long gone. She
finally allowed herself to get up and go to bed where she promptly fell in to a
deep sleep.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
The next day was slightly awkward but as the week
progressed they gained a new understanding of the friendship they had now
having shared their feelings. And although things hadn’t ended the way she
wanted them to Scully was happy with the peace of mind.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
“So, Scully you have any plans for the weekend?” He said while
rummaging through his desk looking for something.
She picked up her briefcase and threw her coat over her arm. “Yes
actually I’m going to visit my brother Bill.”
“Oh” He replied nonchalantly as he ran his hands through his
hair. He was able to hid emotions well when he wanted to.
“And you?” She asked.
“What?” He lifting his eyes from the papers he had been looking
at.
“What are you doing this weekend?” There was something he wasn’t
telling her, she could see that, but she couldn’t tell just what it was.
“Oh, you know catch up on my reading, sleep, maybe run off and
join the circus.” He laughed. She smiled.
“Well then I’ll see you Monday”
“Yeah.” He replied. They remained standing facing each other for
an extended second, he wanted to hug her, Scully could sense this, but he held
back. So, she started towards the door and he followed her out taking a glance
back into the room before turning off the lights and closing the door behind
him.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Scully walked quickly
down the corridor, she was running late. She pushed open the door to their
office; ready for any late comments Mulder might throw her way. She was hoping
he’d go easily on her on a count that it was her birthday. Scully opened the
door expecting to find Mulder sitting at his desk but she soon realized she had
walked into a empty room. Opening the door wider she noticed a TV sitting in
the far corner of the room. On it was a sign that read ‘Press play’. Confusion
was clouding her brain as she pushed the button. The television screen came
alive and the image of Mulder sitting in his apartment came up.
“I know this is strange and confusing but this is the easiest
way. I’ve… Diana Fowley isn’t dead. Her death was faked in order for her to
work against them. She trying to save the world Scully and I’ve decided to join
her. I’m sorry I left you out of this, it was a hard decision, but one I had to
make on my own. Scully I love you, I never wanted to hurt you, but I have to do
this. You have to understand if things were different… I’m sorry. I don’t know
when I’ll be back…” The tape stopped but the VCR kept going. It was destroying
the tape.
“No!” She cried as she frantically tried to free the tape. When
she finally retrieved the broken tape, she let it fall to the floor. Her head
spun and the tears fell as she dropped to the floor holding her head in her
hands. Her thoughts ran wildly through her head.
< Why would he do this to me, and why with Diana? > It was
as if he had torn out her heart, smashed it against a wall, and let Diana play
with the shattered pieces. No words could describe the confusion and the horror
that filled her. How would she carry on? What would she do? She wouldn’t be
able to remain on the X-Files without Mulder and she didn’t know that she
wanted to try. What would she say to everyone, could she just pretend she knew
nothing? Everything’s impossible she decided. She curled up in a ball on the
floor and cried herself to sleep.
When both agents
failed to show up to a meeting with A. D. Skinner, he decided to take a trip
down to the basement himself. However, he was nowhere near prepared for what he
would find there. He looked in and his mouth dropped. The room was a mess.
Papers were torn down and thrown around the room like confetti, the computer
lie in several pieces on the floor, and on the floor and walls child like
scrawling of alien shaped figures were drawn in blue ink.
“Scully!” He said in amazement as he hurried over to her but before
he could reach her, she pulled her gun on him. He froze.
“You killed them all. You Bitch! You took them all from me. You
took Mulder. You killed Mulder and I’m gonna kill you Fowley!” The phone rang
startling Scully and she responded by shooting it. Her startling action gave
Skinner the chance to grab her and wrestle her to the ground. Using the pair of
handcuffs he found on the floor Skinner was finally able to restrain the
obviously confused Scully. When she stopped her struggling he moved back and
she started to chant. “I’m a good girl.” repeatedly through her tears.
~X 23 Hours Later X~
Scully opened her eyes
to the greeting of a cold white light. Her head felt heavy, she tried to get up
but found she was unable to move. Then it dawned on her, she was in the
psychiatric ward of a hospital. As she became more aware of her surroundings,
she realized she could hear voices form out in the hall.
“The severity of her break down is unclear.” Claimed a voice she
could only assume was her doctor.
“Is she all right? Can I see her yet?” Her mother asked angrily.
“Mrs. Scully your daughter has just experiences a life
threatening situation and with agent Mulder found dead this morning it may take
her some time to adjust.” Skinner said trying to comfort her mother.
< What did he say? What happened? Mulder? How did I get here,
what did I do? > Then her mind flashed back to the day before. She could see
the scribbles on the floor and walls and the papers and books that lay
scattered around the room.
< Did I do this? >
She thought as her mind scanned the trashed office. She saw the blue
sharpie marker in her hand and heard the mumbled words that came from her mouth
as she pressed the marker roughly on to the wall.
< I did this. > She thought with conviction. < But why?
> Suddenly the tape flooded back into her mind causing her to shut her eyes
tightly in attempts to stop herself from remembering.
The doctor entered the room followed by her mother and Skinner.
“Dana.” The doctor said. She looked up at him. “I’m doctor Ledger. I’ve looked
at your charts and I know that you yourself are a doctor. Dana do you remember
why you were brought here?” He asked.
“No.” She replied.
“Do you know what day it is or remember what happened on Monday
morning.” The doctor asked.
“I remember being late... Other than that... No I...uh...I can’t
remember.” She answered.
“Dana, dear, how do you feel?” He mother asked.
“My head hurts and I’m a little distorted but I assume that’s from
a medication.” She answered her mother as best as she could.
“That’s right.” The doctor told Scully. “Mr. Skinner would you
please ask the gentlemen in the hall to come in here.” Skinner disappeared into
the hall and returned with an orderly and an armed guard. “Ms. Scully needs to
be brought for some tests now.” Dr. ledger motioned the orderly to take the
restrains off Scully. The armed guard came over and began to handcuff her.
“Is that really necessary?” Her mother protested.
“It’s ok mom.” Scully said quickly. She held up her other hand to
be cuffed.
Dr. Ledger asked
Skinner and Mrs. Scully to stay in the room with him for a moment so he could
ask them a few questions while the guard escorted Scully down the hall.
“Well she seems alright now.” Mrs. Scully stated.
The doctor turned to Skinner. “Well we’ll need to run the tests
Earlier you mentioned a ‘Mulder’.”
“That’s right. He was her partner.” Skinner answered.
“Ms. Scully was heard mumbling some one took him and he was
dead.”
“Agent Mulder was found dead early this morning in his apartment
but there was no way for her to know that.” Skinner said baffled, Mrs. Scully,
who’d been unaware, gasped when she heard Mulder was dead.
“Maybe Dana found him.” Mrs. Scully offered trying to put the pieces
together.
“Maybe.” Skinner said. “But that doesn’t explain…”
Suddenly a shot rang out somewhere out in the hall.
Skinner took off in a flash towards the sound followed by Dr. Ledger and Mrs.
Scully. When they reached the room at the end of the hall they stood in shock.
On the floor lie Scully, her red hair already soaked with blood.
“She moved so fast.” The guard stammered. “She jut grabbed my
gun, I didn’t have time to react.” Mrs. Scully, unable to cope with everything that
had just happened, clung to Skinner crying. Nothing more could be said as
Skinner led Mrs. Scully out of the room and other hospital employees arrived on
the scene.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
A man seated in a
chair in the video surveillance room ran his hands through his hair, tears
streaming down his face. Mulder had never expected this, never!
< Scully, I never wanted to hurt you… if I’d known… > The
sound of clicking heels brought him back to reality.
“It’s time now, Fox.” Dianna said placing a hand on his shoulder.
Still unwilling to move as he watched the men in their white
coats bring Scully out of the room. “I know.” He replied not wanting her to see
his tears he turned slowly. But before he had time to fully turn around, she
put her gun to the back of his head and shot him.
“I’m sorry Fox but we both know you would never have been able to
handle working for the order after what it did to your precious Scully.” She
picked up her phone, punched in a number, and waited for it to pick up. “It’s
done.” She said as she turned and left the room. “Send them in. He…”
“Hello.” The voice on the other end said waiting for her to
finish her sentence but instead the only thing he heard was the loud ring of a
gunshot.
XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX
THE END
XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX
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